Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Mice


I'm sure that there are people out there who read my blog who love mice. I can't stand them. I find them disgusting. I hate that they like to invade houses. I hate that they leave their little poo tracks everywhere. I hate that they poke their little noses into any possible food that they can. I think mice and snakes are equal in my things that I hate most scale. Well, except rats. Rats top both. But, in my mind, mice and rats are basically the same thing. I'm sure that PETA would be apalled by my disgust.
So, several weeks ago pre-Christmas I had quite the mouse experience. I'll have creepy mouse dreams for the rest of my life. I was sitting at my parent's computer early in the morning working. My parent's live in a very old farmhouse that they've fixed up. I'm sitting in the chair, typing an email to a co-worker and all of a sudden I feel something down in my pants. I feel around and there's nothing there. So, I completely think I've imagined that there's something in my pants. And then, I feel something moving up behind my leg. I feel around again and there's something with a little body up my pants leg. I jump up screaming. Screaming is an understatement. I kick my legs all over the place and out flips a mouse. Not just a cute little mouse, but a big fat one. The understated screaming becomes much worse.
My brother jumps up out of bed and comes running in to see what's going on. I can't even talk. My voice is completely hoarse. I take off running downstairs kicking my legs. David comes running to me to see what's wrong.
I scream, "David, a mouse just ran up my pants!!"
He responds, "What?"
"DAVID A MOUSE CLIMBED UP MY PANTS!!!!"
He doesn't really believe me. So, he runs up the stairs. And sure enough, the mouse is scurrying through the house. I see it and I start freaking out yet again. David pulls out a shoe and saves my life.
Yes, I realize that I shouldn't be afraid of mice. I grew up on a farm for goodness sakes!! I've been bitten by mice in feed bins. But, I just can't handle them. And big fat mice just make it even worse. I will no longer wear baggy pajamas while sitting at the computer.
I'm planning to write a new book in the series.... and the first line will be "If you give a mouse a pants leg, he'll take a whole leg."

Wise words to the weary: Be very careful where you sit.