Calf vs. Baby

One would think that apples to apples, it would take the same time for a calf to drink a bottle as a baby...

Tonight, David called from a Scouting campout to ask me to feed our calf, Dolly. My dad gave us this little calf after she lost her mother. They had to do an emergency c-section on the cow and they were able to save little Dolly.

When David called, it was already 9:00pm---DARK!!! I don't do so well by myself in the dark. I always manage to conjure up the worst possible scenario in my mind of how I'll meet my doomsday death in the dark. And tonight was not any different (we've also had a bear lurking around the house, so that doesn't help).

I mixed up Dolly's bottle and put a head-lamp on my head, and walked up to the barn. I kept turning my head 180 degrees every 30 seconds to see if I could see little beady eyes. Or even big bear egg eyes. Thankfully, I didn't see anything on the way up.

I got up to the barn, went down the middle aisle, and looked in the first stall. (David told me the calf was in the first stall.) I looked down and there were pigs. So I walked to the back stall, and something reached down and grabbed my head. I started freaking out. I was screaming like crazy. The dogs started barking and the pigs started making noises. I kept trying to turn the head lamp to see what was going on. My head kept getting smacked. FINALLY, I looked up and there were two birds FLOGGING me!!! It wasn't just a simple flog--I was getting double-teamed. I ran out of the middle of the barn screaming with my hands above my head. I kept thinking they were going to scratch my face with their feet, poo on my head, or I was going to get some sort of strange bird lice. Luckily, no damage done.

I went around to the side of the barn and found Dolly. I gave her the bottle and within about 50 seconds I could hear her gulping air. Amazing. I grabbed the bottle, closed the stall door, and walked as quickly as possible back to the house. (I walked for fear that if something was behind me and I ran, surely it would chase me). I know. I'm secretly a wimp.

And now, I must say...Thankfully, when it comes to calf verses baby, CALF IS THE WINNER. I don't think I could have handled more than 50 seconds.